I’ve noticed lately how many best-sellers are written in 1st person point of view–especially young adult novels. When a story is written in 1st person, the author writes as if they are the main character, telling the story in their own words. (As opposed to 3rd person, where the author tells the story as if they were watching the action unfold.)

We’ve talked before about the need to show a story rather than simply “telling” it–to put our readers inside the character’s head so that they see what the character sees, feel what they feel. This can be done very effectively in either 1st or 3rd person. It is also possible to “tell” from either viewpoint.

Sometimes it helps me–even if I am writing in 3rd person POV–to switch into 1st person as I experiment with how to write a scene. When I pretend that I am the character, telling my own story, I see things I didn’t notice before. I tend to think more about how I would move, what I would feel, how I would react to the action and dialogue. It seems easier to put myself into the scene and become aware of the sensory elements–smells, sounds, textures–that it’s easy to forget about.

Exercise:

• Look at a few books you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. Are they written in 1st person (I, me, my) or 3rd person (he, she, his, her, they)?
• Read a few paragraphs. Does the author seem to be telling you a story or showing you what happened?
• Which books made you feel like you “became” the character? Were they all 1st person? All 3rd person? Some of each?
• Select a scene from a story you are writing. If you write in 3rd person, try writing a draft in 1st person (or vice versa). Did you gain any insights into your characters?
• If you made the switch primarily by changing the pronouns, try writing the scene again. This time, dig deeper. As if you were a method actor, get into the role until you “become” the POV character. Now close your eyes and relate what happened. (You know the scene well enough by now.) Tell not only what you saw, but what you smelled, tasted, and felt.
• Compare the new scene to your original. Draw from the new material to make your original scene richer.

Read, read, read! Reading builds your writing skills in powerful and sometimes subtle ways. You begin to pick up on the rhythm of good writing by expanding your sense of pacing, beats in dialogue, chapter endings or beginnings, and so on. Your vocabulary grows with more powerful verb choices. You discover areas of interest you yourself might like to write about someday. There are hosts of other ways reading can improve your writing, and over time you’ll figure them out.

Then, since you are reading good books, do this: become a book reviewer. Learn the art of writing book reviews. This will not only get you some good, and often free, material for reading, but it will make you really focus on what made the book work — or not.

On my blog, Write Reason, I have a section heading I call my Book Exams. These are books that I review for the casual and discerning reader. Then, strictly for the benefit of writers, I go one step farther by pointing out what writing skills or techniques we can learn from that particular author. Perhaps the author was very good at character development. I tell why. Perhaps they were really, really good at “world building”. I point out how. Maybe they had a simple yet beautiful way of writing prose.

Anyway, if I like a book, doing an “exam” causes me to look closer at the whys. By writing the review, I expand another aspect of my writing ability.

Exercises:

• Visit authors’ web sites and blogs. Many of them, and I do mean MANY, offer the chance to win free books in drawings. I can’t tell you how many books I’ve won through blog drawings. It’s a great way to build your library.

• Make friends with authors. They love to hear from you. New authors, especially, and those from smaller, lesser known publishing houses, are looking for ways to get word of their book out. Many have copies to distribute for review. You, of course, would have to follow through and do the review.

• Start a blog. You can start a blog for free. There are many places – Blogger, WordPress, or others. Or, if you are on Facebook, you can post book reviews in your “notes” section.  Go to your library or grab some books off your shelf, roll up your sleeves, and start writing reviews. After a while, when you’ve written enough of them, and perhaps even developed a small following, more authors or publishers will be willing to send you their books.

• And homeschoolers, your parents might consider letting you write book reviews as part of your language arts program. Wouldn’t that rock?

1. POV slips

Nothing bothers me quite so much as hopping from one person’s head to another in the same scene. Just when I think I’m in Jane’s head, seeing the world through her eyes—bam. The writer jumps to Billy’s head, and that changes everything. Billy thinks differently from Jane about the weather, the people, the emotions—everything really. It’s okay to have multiple points of view when writing in third person, but stick to one person per scene. In my opinion, head-hopping keeps the reader from getting emotionally involved in the scene.

2. Being verbs

When writers pile on the being verbs, they rob their prose of it’s most vibrant element. Let me clarify—just in case someone’s wondering—the verbs I’m talking about. (Am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been.) These static verbs don’t do anything. They just sit there. If you rework your sentences, most of the time you can replace these weak verbs with vivid action words. Simple example: There was an oak tree in the yard. (Weak.) An oak tree shaded the lawn. (Stronger.)

3. Too many adverbs

I remember one story I read that had an –ly adverb in almost every sentence. Everything went sweetly, quickly, softly, and nauseatingly along. Instead of walked swiftly, try rushed, hurried, or scrambled. Go on an –ly hunt and consider every one guilty until you rid your prose of these bland thieves. After you’ve learned to write without them, you may find a time to work one or two necessary ones back into your writing.

4. Labeling with adjectives instead of word painting

Sometimes we label the things we want to describe instead of taking the time to use an artist’s eye to paint them. We write about a “beautiful sunset” or “ugly frog”.  Instead of using the labels of “beautiful” and “ugly”, take the time to observe unique details—even if it’s in your imagination. Maybe the sunset isn’t so beautiful. On a day when everything’s gone wrong for your hero, maybe the sun bleeds it’s orange rays across the sky. Look for the flaw in something beautiful or a redeeming quality in something ugly. You just might come up with a sentence we all wish we’d written!

5. Filtering through the consciousness of a character

This concept might sound hard to understand, but a few examples will clear it up. Avoid phrases such as: he thought, noticed, wondered, realized, noted, considered, realized, etc. Here’s an example: “He noticed a mockingbird entertaining the neighborhood from its perch in a tree.” Remove the filter and move deeper into his point of view. “A mockingbird entertained the neighborhood from its perch in a tree.” If you’ve stayed true to No. 1 above, we’ll know that he noticed it, and we’ll feel more like we’re in his skin.

6. Lack of inner journey character arc

Some stories I’ve read have a great outer journey for the character with a tangible goal and a compelling motivation, but the inner journey of the character is lacking. Jeff Gerke, quthor of How To Find Your Story, goes so far as to say the story is really 75% about the inner journey. Also, know your character’s inner goal and motivation. If you think about it, even all the animated movies have an inner journey. Think about Shrek. We see what’s going on inside him, and that’s why we care about whether or not he succeeds.

7. Episodic writing

In episodic writing, lots of things happen to the hero, but he just goes through his day reacting to everything. Usually in these stories the character’s goal is weak so he doesn’t have anything that he must achieve, or maybe the stakes aren’t high enough. So what if he doesn’t get it? If the character has a strong goal and the stakes are high, he’ll take steps to reach the goal and won’t wait around for something to happen.

8. Lack of motivation for characters

Most of the time your heroes and heroines can do just about anything—as long as they have a strong motivation. If they don’t have a proper motivation for what they do, they will appear too stupid to live. Why does your hero want that? Why will he go to the extreme to get it?

9. Characters who are too perfect

Yuck. I don’t care to spend hours and hours reading about perfect people. As my friend Shelly Dippel says, “They’re too good for earth. Send ‘em on to heaven!” What flaws do your characters have? What lies do they believe? What mistakes do they make? What hot buttons do they have? Do they sometimes mouth-off when they should keep silent? And while we’re at it, give your villains depth by bestowing upon them a couple of good qualities.

10. Going overboard

Sometimes when I teach a new concept, I find that my students get so enthused about it that they go overboard. I teach about metaphors, and the next chapter has so many metaphors that the good ones are hidden among the mediocre ones. Or I teach about using vivid verbs, and the student writes a twisted sentence just to avoid a being verb. Use common sense, and don’t take any of these tips to the extreme!

Exercise:

Go over a scene that you’ve written and see if you can find any of these things that weaken your story. Rewrite!

If there’s one thing you will be told as a writer over and over again, it’s Show, Don’t Tell. So, if you haven’t heard that said before, allow me to be the first. What does it mean to show and not tell? It means to let the reader see, hear, taste, smell, and feel what’s going on without you, the writer, telling them by labeling the action or the feeling. You do this by:

1. Getting into action with active voice – using meaningful, lively verbs instead of lazy ones.
2. Murdering passive voice by deleting “be” verbs (was/were/be/been/being)
3. Eliminating adjectives that flower up the page without really telling us much.

This can all sound confusing, so let me show you what I’m talking about. Here’s an example that we can fix:

Kennedy was hot, sweaty, and super tired. But she kept on running, determined to at least finish the marathon.

Did you see Kennedy in your mind’s eye? Smell her? Feel sympathy for her? Probably not. But instead of telling us she’s hot and sweaty, why not show us? First, let’s get rid of that lazy, passive voice “be” verb “was” and replace it with a verb that sizzles.

Heat flooded Kennedy’s entire body, from the flush of her forehead to the stinging blisters on her toes. Her muscles burned and her shirt with the crinkled number pinned to it stuck to her belly and back as she kept pumping her legs. (Now, let’s lose that lame adjective phrase “super tired”. Let’s show it!) Her legs, like rubber, threatened to give out on her, and she clutched her side with one hand to try and quell a growing cramp. “Why am I killing myself?” she muttered with a gasp. Kennedy blinked hard and fast, then thrust out her chin and commanded her knees to lift. She would finish this race – no matter what it took.

Did you notice how that quick blink and the sticking out of her chin showed her determination, instead of telling us she had it? Did you also notice that I never used the actual words tired, sweaty, or hot, but you could tell? That’s showing!

The thing about showing vs. telling is that it actually expands the scene and brings the reader more deeply into it. As a developing writer, perhaps you’ve worried about whether you’ll think of enough things to say or to happen to fill up a story or a book. That’s a pretty common concern. But by concentrating on showing us action and feelings instead of simply labeling them, those worries will take care of themselves. Scenes will grow naturally, and will help a reader to feel that they’re inside them.

So, whenever you’re tempted to say she felt sad, or angry, or frightened, or lonely, have the character do something that shows us that instead. Rather than describing a person (or place) as spooky or generous or obnoxious, show us why that’s so.

EXERCISES:

• Pull out something you’ve written and make it bleed! (That’s writer-speak for marking it up a LOT with a red pen.) Cross out all the passive voice “be” verbs you can find. Change phrases like “she ran”. Use specific, visual verbs. For instance, Kennedy probably didn’t look like she was running. She probably looked more like she was plodding along.
• Examine a scene in a book that you like. How did the writer show instead of tell what was happening or how the character felt? What specific, lively verbs did they use? Copy them down.
• Try writing a short scene about a girl discovering an important letter. It could be old or new. It could take place in a contemporary, historical, or futuristic setting. It could be written to her or to someone else. You decide. Show us what she thinks, feels, and what she does without labeling her thoughts or feelings, or naming her actions specifically.